Gaining (or Maintaining) Respect

I know, you've been patiently waiting since  yesterday to learn more about the Awesome Campaign's RESPECT system.

I can basically boil all the problems in my house to issues with RESPECT:

• Col Awesome doesn't put away his laundry... I feel like he doesn't respect my time and effort.  (Yes, I' realize the flip is true, not putting away his laundry for him, doesn't respect all the hours he puts in at work... I'm guilty too!).
• The kids complain about cleaning up and having to put away other people's things and it doesn't acknowledge (respect) the work that Mom and Dad do to keep them in the sweet life.
• We go to the grocery store and the kids beg for junk and if they don't get it, they complain and fight the whole way through the store (do I really have to explain the level of disrespect that's going on here?).  

In a stroke of both desperation and genius, I was lying in bed the other morning and Aretha Franklin's "RESPECT" started going through my head.  So I pulled out some office supplies:

• printable business cards
• laminating pouches
• Pen
• wet erase marker

I created my new "RESPECT" cards and because I was in a hurry to implement my genius, pretty is not the word to describe the results... EFFECTIVE is, however.

So it's quite simple...
One side of the card is for maintaining and exceeding expectations in regards to respect; the other side is for RAMOTU (Ruler And Master of the Universe).

When my kids behave their card looks like it does in the top of the picture.  Nothing  marked off... a clean slate.  The card starts this way each day. When the kids fail to maintain reasonable behavior (mouth off, refuse to do chores, fight, etc), I take out the wet erase marker and mark off a letter (I chose wet erase because it would be harder for someone to rub off their letter or for anything to get rubbed off in my purse since this system is portable).  In order to get a letter back, the kids have to choose a chore from my "bin of shame."  The "bin of shame" is a small basket with little slips of paper with various unpleasant chores like: clean out mom or dad's car, match up all the socks and fold them, clean bathroom.  If you're less twisted than me... you can just call it a "fix it bin" for kids to fix their mistakes.

When the kids get along well and are helpful, then they can earn bonus stars. I decided to give my bonus stars a monetary value but you can handle it any way you want.  In my house:
1 star = $.10
2 stars= $.25
3 stars= $.50
4 stars= $.60
5 stars= $.75
6 stars= $1.00

I suppose you're wondering what RAMOTU is?  A good family friend uses this acronym when we play cards as a sign of who's winner.  It's a bit like the "Iron Chef" winner... the praise and glory of the people.  However, the kids said they wanted to be able to do whatever they wanted for a whole day.  Now, I have no problem rewarding one of my kids for being well-behaved or at least willingly makes up for their mistakes. So if/when the kids get 7 days of good behavior they get to let loose for a day as well as choose our lunch and dinner menu for the day.

I decided that it didn't matter to me if it was 7 days in a row or 7 days period, after all everyone has bad days.  Oddly enough, the kids have gotten a RAMOTU point 4 days in a row.

So I dunno if my system is making sense, but it's working.  

Breaking the Silence

I've been quiet for quite some time and with some good reason.  You see Lent kicked off a season of busy:

• I celebrated my Confirmation. 
• My daughter had her First Communion.
• My grandmother turned 85 and I got to go visit her in Europe for 12 days!

You can imagine that with a lot of big family events all routine and reason have gone out the window.  They have not only gone out the window, they've moved at least six states away from this family.  Now that school  is out, we're down to finishing up baseball season and a few summer camps...Thank GOD!  But it's also time to restore law and order because we're all less than awesome around here without it.

Lemme back up a bit... I discovered on my trip to Europe that my family can function quite well and peacefully without me.  It was a bit of a kudos... because now I can run away and live like a hobo in Key West.  On the flip side... they were quite peaceful and organized without me.  I realized, I got all the laundry caught up, planned meals, and the schedule before I left.  I left the house not in perfect condition, but in maintenance mode.  

When I returned from my trip, I landed smack dab in the middle of dance recital week and end of the school year craziness.  Jet lag combined with a busy schedule = law, order, peace, justice GONE. It was fly by the seat of my pants and hope we all got everywhere we need to be when we need to be there.  Well now that's all settled, so it's clear that I need to get things under control or by September 5th, it's going to be bye-bye to law, order, peace, justice and my sanity all at once.

Here are some things I noticed about my house (and maybe you have the same problems in yours?):

• My daughter is a direct descendant of Looney Toons' Taz... disasater follows her.
• My son doesn't make messes mostly because he's glued to (as my mother calls them) "an electronical device."
• When my house is super messy, I'm super, uh, CRABBY.
• It drives me nuts when I wash and fold the kids laundry and they throw it all over their rooms.
• I complain way too much.

 In my never-ending mission to continue to be awesome... I needed to do something about all this.  So here's the plan:

• My daughter is going to be held accountable for all her mess trails
• My son needs to have his love of electronical devices redirected to interacting with humans... even if he makes a little mess.
• Clean up the house, get some exercise, eat healthier = super AWESOME
• I'm not going to fold the kids laundry any more.
• I'm re-committing to the Awesomeness Campaign (i.e. complain less, praise more!)

It sounds pretty easy, right?...  Theoretically, it is easy, but try giving kids who'd rather be making messes and talking to Super Mario some guidance and that's when you get some Awesome Genius going.  We don't need more rules... we need more respect: for ourselves, our things, others... so that's what this summer is all about RESPECT.  Oh but more on that tomorrow... because I've got some bonding to do with my little girl.